The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troub lesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
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10 comments:
That's funny. But evey joke is only partially a joke.
Now I heard that the Duma discusses some draft laws about changing Russian to the easier way. So, sooner we may speak some hohlo-uzbeko-russkii
Haaa haaah haaa...oh)))It's so funny, I hope such thing will never happen!! To the end of the post I could hardly understand what was written...))
May be I should be ashamed… but when I have some tests at the lessons of English and especially the lessons of French, I always want the languages to be much easier… there are really too many unnecessary rules, which can destroy all love for studying any foreign language!
AHAHHAAH!!!!!!!
I`m in hysterics...I don`t think the English can allow such absurd))
Than I suggest to change all Russian grammer rules, to cancel them))))):
1. no double "нн","сс"...
forward we will write - оловяНый, деревяНый, руСкий
2. no difference between "о" and "а" - "карова", "малако"
Generally speaking everyone can contrive his own russian... XDD
hahh)))but i guess that we are like europeens too)))) on our French lessions)))))
You can just reread what you write even here - ha-ha! It is a EuroEnglish for some of the participants. Sad isn't it, my dear guys?
Oh it's so funny. But thank God this is only a joke)
But, Montgomery, your words shocked me! Our Russian is so ideal and beautiful and it's the real crime to change the rules. I think it shows us the low intellectual level of our authorities... It's just a way to keep back the lack of knowledge. Poor Russian...
That's funny)) but it ruines language at all( I hope it won't come true.
As for French I'd like to say that it's a marvelous language. and I love it with all its strange words,signs, rules, with all its exeptions and different times and modes. I can't imagine it be easier) It won't be French))))
Oh my God!At the end I could hardly understand the text too...
It was like an sms when people for example use the latin alphabet to write in Russian...
=)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Now serious...I really can hardly read the last lines, I prefer the traditonal English... it sounds better and looks better))
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